According to Kim Scott a former Apple and Google executive and author of the awesome book Radical Candor “The most important things you can do if you have a bad boss, is to remember that this person is a human being.”
You know how it is when you have a crappy boss you secretly walk around thinking you’re going to break the bitch down and make them suffer, but it never happens.
Usually what happens is that you hold all your feelings, thoughts and ideas inside until you’re ready to blow up like a volcano just to wind up being more frustrated and hate coming to work.
Kim Scott, who has been a CEO Coach to people like Ryan Smith (Qualtrics), Drew Houston (Dropbox), and Kevin Gibbon (Shyp) says to start by soliciting feedback from your boss to try to understand their perspective on how things are going.
You do that by:
If you just do those 3 things, eventually you will create a safe space to ask your boss if it’s okay to give them some critical feedback.
What if your boss says no?
Polish your resume and find another boss.
If your boss says yes, you’re on your way to fixing the relationship.
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Domenic Certa is the co-author of the soon to be #1 bestselling book, Manager Hacker and the founder of the Self-Achievement System, one of the internet’s best DIY personal and professional development systems, serving people across the globe. His book is currently being translated into 6 languages and will soon be available in more than 150 countries.
Domenic has managed hundreds of people and helped gross millions in revenue for clients like Apple, General Motors, AT&T, Vodafone Wireless, BMW, Heineken and HSBC Bank over the past 15 years. As a senior facilitator for the ISA Experience, Domenic has coached thousands of people in their personal and professional growth.
Some managers may be transparent enough to admit they struggle with managing their people, however, with the title of “Manager” on their doors and business cards…most managers won’t. They fake it while trying to make it, and all the while their people get held back because of their lame attitude and ego that, from their point of view, is never wrong, or because of their misguided beliefs about what they should and should not be doing to be a good manager, which is usually based on their experience with a ? manager they had in the past.
(And we’re not talking about MALE ? and FEMALE ? here, we’re talking about…)
Have you ever noticed there are a ? ton of unaware people who THINK they possess self-awareness? Ahhhh, but don’t be fooled by their over-inflated, egotistical perception of themselves.
If you search for “self- awareness” this is what you’ll find:
Conscious knowledge ?? of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.
Characteristics: deep knowledge, informed, uses wise judgment, self-observant, conscious, knowledgeable, perceptive, watchful, mindful, sophisticated, sensible, alert, attentive, ability to feeling empathy
Having no knowledge ??? of a situation or fact.
Characteristics: ignorant, unknowing, unconscious, reckless, lack of care, unmindful, oblivious, lacking deep knowledge, not aware of the presence of danger, uninformed, unenlightened, not aware of facts, innocent
You may be like “I’m not answering that 2nd question,” ? ? ? but come on! Fair is fair! It’s a huge question to ask yourself and to be honest with yourself about. Otherwise, you may find yourself blaming some of the ? that goes down in your workplace on your manager when the truth may be that you are unknowingly (or intentionally) causing some of it. Time to get real, eh?
The bottom line is that truly self-aware managers work very hard to pay attention to everything and to self ? observe. Practicing self-observation has huge advantages and gives them (and you) the ability to constantly adjust the way they (you) interact with people.
A self-aware manager’s sole purpose is to create amazing relationships that move the organization’s purpose and the evolution of our planet forward.
The most important thing about a person who is truly self-aware is that they fully know they are in-charge and in control of every aspect of their life. They are diligent in the ways they practice discipline in every area of their life. So, if a self-aware person decides to stop an unhealthy or start a healthy habit, they not only know that they have the ability, they actually do it. Self-aware people are huge givers and would never intentionally hurt a fellow human.
An unaware manager’s primary purpose is to create benefit for themselves any way they can AND they even think it’s the right thing to do.
Unaware managers work very little, if at all, to pay attention to anything or to self-observe. They often times play victim to their circumstances, emotions and results. They have little or no desire to adjust the way they interact with their people, and deep down they don’t really give a ? about those relationships. Unaware people are takers and are reckless in the way they treat others.
Your awareness ? of these two facts and their unawareness of these two facts is your golden key ? to unlocking ? your success with ANY manager.
So, Is Your Boss Really Going To Help You?
Let’s talk about this… meet me over on Facebook