Anyone who hasn’t a clue that they need to change, can’t. It takes being aware of change first. If your manager isn’t curious and doesn’t actively seek feedback for things they need to make adjustments with…well, you know what’s gonna happen. Nada! So stop wishing.
Give it up. An unaware manager doesn’t want to be changed. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change, including yourself. And, you already know that changing yourself is the most difficult thing in the world to do. Right? ?
Spend your time on the things you CAN change, starting with becoming self-aware of how YOU behave and interact with others at work, including how YOU interact with your manager.
Even though THEY may need change the most, give up trying to change them. That’s right, if you really want to change your situation fast, start by changing yourself first and then learn how to hack your manager. Always give yourself an honest look and keep an open mind to self-change the things you have control of. If you are open-minded you are going to see some serious ? happen…my promise! ?
And, go even one step further; do the Zen thing ? …have some compassion for your manager because they don’t know what they don’t know (which makes them innocent) – that they don’t really know how to manage people. They only think they know what they’re doing, or they are desperately trying to fake it while trying to make it.
Some managers may be transparent enough to admit they struggle with managing their people, however, with the title of “Manager” on their doors and business cards…most managers won’t. They fake it while trying to make it, and all the while their people get held back because of their lame attitude and ego that, from their point of view, is never wrong, or because of their misguided beliefs about what they should and should not be doing to be a good manager, which is usually based on their experience with a ? manager they had in the past.
(And we’re not talking about MALE ? and FEMALE ? here, we’re talking about…)
Have you ever noticed there are a ? ton of unaware people who THINK they possess self-awareness? Ahhhh, but don’t be fooled by their over-inflated, egotistical perception of themselves.
If you search for “self- awareness” this is what you’ll find:
Conscious knowledge ?? of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.
Characteristics: deep knowledge, informed, uses wise judgment, self-observant, conscious, knowledgeable, perceptive, watchful, mindful, sophisticated, sensible, alert, attentive, ability to feeling empathy
Having no knowledge ??? of a situation or fact.
Characteristics: ignorant, unknowing, unconscious, reckless, lack of care, unmindful, oblivious, lacking deep knowledge, not aware of the presence of danger, uninformed, unenlightened, not aware of facts, innocent
You may be like “I’m not answering that 2nd question,” ? ? ? but come on! Fair is fair! It’s a huge question to ask yourself and to be honest with yourself about. Otherwise, you may find yourself blaming some of the ? that goes down in your workplace on your manager when the truth may be that you are unknowingly (or intentionally) causing some of it. Time to get real, eh?
The bottom line is that truly self-aware managers work very hard to pay attention to everything and to self ? observe. Practicing self-observation has huge advantages and gives them (and you) the ability to constantly adjust the way they (you) interact with people.
A self-aware manager’s sole purpose is to create amazing relationships that move the organization’s purpose and the evolution of our planet forward.
The most important thing about a person who is truly self-aware is that they fully know they are in-charge and in control of every aspect of their life. They are diligent in the ways they practice discipline in every area of their life. So, if a self-aware person decides to stop an unhealthy or start a healthy habit, they not only know that they have the ability, they actually do it. Self-aware people are huge givers and would never intentionally hurt a fellow human.
An unaware manager’s primary purpose is to create benefit for themselves any way they can AND they even think it’s the right thing to do.
Unaware managers work very little, if at all, to pay attention to anything or to self-observe. They often times play victim to their circumstances, emotions and results. They have little or no desire to adjust the way they interact with their people, and deep down they don’t really give a ? about those relationships. Unaware people are takers and are reckless in the way they treat others.
Your awareness ? of these two facts and their unawareness of these two facts is your golden key ? to unlocking ? your success with ANY manager.
So, Is Your Boss Really Going To Help You?
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As the name implies, here is a micromanager who adds their unique style of jerkiness to management. Also known as the Black Hole Boss, the Micro ManaJerk actually thinks that keeping their people in the dark and feeding them bullshit keeps them hungry for more, however, it only keeps them confused and feeling deflated. The Micro ManaJerk also thinks that by spilling too much critical information the team will take over, so they hoard information (like a galactic black ? hole), vs. sharing necessary information so their people can do their jobs effectively. Their entire purpose is to be vague, effectively reversing gravity, where resources and information go in but not even one fucking particle comes out.
Some Micro ManaJerks act like snooty, numb nut heads who think their poodle ? pooh is odorless just because they have all their organic soup can labels lined up in their kitchen cabinets. These people are so in your face, stalking your junk, 24/7 because they’re freaked that their boss is going to spot a mistake THEY missed. They’re like a confused squirrel darting back and forth unsure of which way to run or so they don’t get the deer-in-the-headlights award for freezing in their tracks.
A Micro ManaJerk is a such a shitty management style because this unaware narcissist hasn’t a clue that they’re demotivating ? their people, making them weaker and painfully resentful. Team players are like, “Get outta my face, ass hat!” If a Micro ManaJerk would just give instructions and specific targets, and leave people alone, everything would be rainbows and butterflies. But noooooo…this boss type is neurotic, uptight, and anal, which leaves you feeling like they don’t trust you and like you’re a fucking, worthless chowderhead that can never do anything as well as them.
A Micro ManaJerk has the audacity to think they’re better organized, more accurate, and way more practical than anyone else in the department which they think gives them the green light to tell you the proper way to hold a tissue while you blow your nose. These are some strange muthafuckas! You can spot these freaks easily because they say things like “I’m gonna need you to skip your break and go….” or “When you get done with that I’ve got a long list of (my urgent) projects that need your attention…so let’s speed it up.” or “If you do it like this, it will go faster.” You will actually hear Team Members mumbling things like “Shove that micromanagement ? back up your ass!”
When you walk into a Micro ManaJerk’s office, every piece of ? furniture, every ? folder, and every ? paperclip is organized, however, it’s blatantly obvious that they’re more focused on keeping their office crap decluttered than they are on leading, developing and coaching their people.
Generally, a Micro ManaJerk’s underlying thinking is that you either do it the “right way” or “my way,” and if you don’t like it you can piss off with the other disorganized zit-heads in the office. If they catch you altering procedure from 1,2,3,4,5 to 1,2,4,5,3, regardless of whether your way gets the job done right or not…expect a 20-minute ? hammering ?for not following procedures and protocols, that lasts exactly 20 minutes.
Ordinarily, when the Micro ManaJerk feels under the gun, they stop talking to everyone (except their boss of course), go to their office, close their door and go into a mental ? coma to keep out all distractions. However, they’re actually just thinking up the next “be-all-end-all” report to demand from you that will fix this week’s shit-storm.
Since the Feng Shui-worshiping ManaJerk spends more time obsessing about every doom and gloom scenario (fear of losing ?, fear of deadlines, fear of their boss, fear of fear), they do feel an incessant need to control. That said, it may seem like they’re all about having control, actually they’re really just freaked out and scared most of the time because of all their self-fulfilling insecurities.
Want more to read the rest? Want to find out how to HACK this manajerk?
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OMG…there is so much research out there about success, you could choke yourself with it. But isn’t success defined by the person? Isn’t your happiness determined by you? Isn’t your satisfaction decided by you too? Come on, right! Of course, it is, and if you’re judging yourself based on someone else’s results…pure and simple, you’re screwing yourself over.
With that, you can always tell if you’re successful if you take a few minutes and observe yourself and your work situation. Maybe you already know.
For the most part, Success is your personal, individual, emotional, intuitive, accomplishment of your personal ambition or purpose in life. At work, it’s things like:
So yeah, you have to keep it all together, if that is, you want to feel a certain level of experiential success. If you’re not feelin’ it, well guess what?
So, what about job satisfaction? Job satisfaction is that feeling of gratification you get that happens as a result of your positive interaction and contribution from doing your work. (Read that again) It’s not the money, the benefits or the vacations.
Again, you have to keep it together and in perspective, if you want to feel a certain level of experiential job satisfaction. If you’re not feelin’ it, guess what?
Let’s take a look at happiness. It’s interesting to watch and listen to people. Everyone is like “I just want to be happy!” WTF does that mean? If you’re not already happy and you want to get happy and stay happy as much as possible, you have to do enough “consistently” progressive stuff in your life so that you will feel a real “experience” of consistent happiness. It’s not that hard really. So…
Happiness is progress. When you’re making forward movement in your personal, professional, emotional, and spiritual life, you will feel happy. Period.
And, remember, the moment you complete a goal is not when you’ll feel consistently happy, that’s when you’ll feel proud of your accomplishment. Don’t get happy and proud confused. Way too many people start sliding backward right after they reach a goal and end up a few weeks later wondering what happened to the happiness they felt. Be proud and the hack is to keep moving on to the next challenge.
When you’re doing the things you know you need to do which move you closer to your goals and your dreams – then you will feel happy. When you’re not doing the things you know you shouldn’t do, you will also feel happy. So, in order to feel consistently happy, you must maintain your momentum of regular progress on your overall journey.
Work is only part of your journey and since the title of this blog post is about work…I’ll leave it at that.
So, what’s your story?