The definition of an awesome manager is:
“A manager who practices self-awareness ALWAYS treats everyone as a valued human being, regardless of their title or generational dogma.”
How can you know for sure what an awesome manager FEELS like?
They may be nice and fair but what criteria should be used to actually tell if your manager is awesome or not.
It’s all in the way they interact with you and how they go about developing you so that you want to perform at your best.
It’s the manager who has very little self-awareness who attempts to use different “tricks” to TRY to motivate their people to pull out their best performance.
Ideally, awesome managers are supposed to develop you in four basic ways:
It’s the way they manage their own energy, empowerment, support and communication that will show you.
Whether you believe it or not, the ideal manager is supposed to be the expert at making things happen. They are supposed to create more energy than they consume. The ideal manager should have a dynamic leadership style and work with each individual employee – on their level – to pull out your best behavior and inspire you to do your best work, no matter how old you are or what your generational context is. Awesome managers have good energy. They don’t flaunt it or force their energy on anyone because they are secure in who they are. They practice self-awareness and are constantly making adjustments in their management style.
The ideal manager is also supposed to give you the authority to make decisions with the intention of doing excellent work that is in the best interest of the organization.
The ideal manager is supposed to know how to leverage your effort toward a common purpose. They are supposed to support you in doing your job in a way that your creativity and commitment help take you and the organization to great heights of success.
An awesome manager empowers their self. They never wait for upper management to give them direction or to constantly align their plans with the corporate vision. An awesome manager does that all on their own. An awesome manager uses the greatest tool they have, their body, to show you how to empower yourself.
The ideal manager is supposed to be a coach, counselor, and colleague, not an overbearing overseer or assassin. They are supposed to uplift you, not intimidate you. They are supposed to know how to set up a supportive environment with open communication so you can express your concerns – truthfully and completely – without fear or consequence and are open to compromise as long as it supports everyone’s overall goals, including the goals of the organization.
The ideal manager is supposed to give you the opportunity to make mistakes and learn from them, without making you feel like a dumbass or cussing you out.
The ideal manager is supposed to know that communication is the lifeblood of every organization. They know that applied information is power and as the growth of the business accelerates, the right information must be communicated and acted upon faster than ever.
The ideal manager is supposed to know that constant change and disorder in business means more communication is needed, not less.
Instinctively, the ideal manager is supposed to know what the right amount of communication is to help you do your job to the best of your abilities and this will help anticipate the impact that new opportunities have on you and the organization.
The ideal manager/leader is supposed to be the master of all these functions. They are supposed to know that by being a master at energizing you, empowering you, supporting you and communicating with you, you will respond with engagement, endless morale, loyalty and seamless productivity. When you find someone with all of these perfect qualities, please let us know.
“Live life fully while you’re here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You’re going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”
~ Tony Robbins
The Secret: How to Stop the Frustration and Get a Grip on Reality
Some of the most valuable skills you can bring to your workplace is your ability to overcome obstacles, be flexible and remain calm. When the workload is on steroids, stay organized. When someone has personal problems, be empathetic. When supplies are short, look for alternatives. When your manager falls short, change your expectations because…
If you get off on being frustrated, don’t do a fucking thing!
If you want to stop being frustrated…
TAKE CHARGE RIGHT NOW
Show your best performance and your best behavior, Speak clearly. Do your best planning and be organized. Manage your time, your energy and the direction of your life will follow your every move!
Why? Because you can!
The problem is unaware people and the solution is self-aware people. When people decide to wake-up and develop their self-awareness, things can begin to change. Until then, just know that any organization you go into, at some level or another, will be screwed up! It’ll be the same everywhere you go.
Stop expecting your manager to be perfect, because they’re not and they never will be.
Now, you might be thinking, “changing my crappy situation can’t be this easy.” YES, it can. The sooner you accept this and the sooner you change your expectations and begin to take control of your situation, the happier and richer you will be.
And for you ZEN people out there, yes, we understand that we are all perfect the way we are and the way we’re not…our flaws are perfect too which makes us all perfect.
“The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.”
Your secret mission is to become so focused that you cut through all the confusing bullshit in your life…like a fucking laser beam. But will you?
First, deliberately move your life forward with intention by nailing down your barriers and then push through the first layer of crap that holds you back from being strong inside and out. Only you know what they are.
When you become stronger, you will be better able to live the life you secretly want. Don’t just settle for what falls in your lap and end up stuck in survival mode complaining about how screwed up your situation is.
The first step to changing your situation is to accept full responsibility for getting yourself into your situation in the first place. Next, write down and organize all your plans into your calendar.
Pursue goals that move you in a consistent, positive direction. It’s really simple actually, but I know…the game is on or one of the Kardashian’s just changed outfits so you have to tweet about it. Joke!
My definition of working-on-yourself is: “Create yourself to be the person you ideally want to be and never settle for less.” The key word here is ideally.
If you’re into hoping and wishing for a better you/life but are unwilling to do what it takes to feel amazing, it’s pretty clear that you’re all about your comfort, which means you’ll end up being comfortable and not getting what you secretly want. Sad truth.
Here’s what George Bernard Shaw says about our job as humans:
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
There are a ? ton of reasons why people don’t “work-on-themselves,” AND you know how it is…the reasons never matter because they never hold any convincing justification anyway, they’re mostly just bullshit reasons.
Most people let themselves slide through life, or they’re lured into spending countless hours on social media, taking the easy way out because the easy way out is comfortable. Not talkin’ about you…just sayin’.
What most people don’t know is they unknowingly sacrifice having an amazingly full life in exchange for their comfort!
Some people fill their bodies with deadly toxins for years and years (because of the really fucked up advertising out there) thinking they don’t have the personal power or inner strength to stop their unhealthy habits (because the advertisers don’t tell you that their toxic products are going to kill you..but you’re gonna have fun eating it and it’s gonna taste good) and end up being deathly sick at a way-too-early age. They live the life of a slacker not knowing that they’ve always had the power to change those habits. Just ask Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz, she knows her shit!
What do you hear most out of the mouths of the people who say they want to, but don’t change their unhealthy habits? “I CAN’T! I CAN’T! I CAN’T!!! I’ve tried before….I just can’t do it! I don’t know why I can’t. If I just knew why…I would do it..for REAL, I would!!”
This is such total bullshit. Even if they knew the reason why they would still have to go through the discomfort of changing the habit. They say their “reason” for not changing is because they’re waiting for the deep-rooted reason “why” they can’t change which either never comes or they make up some other justifying bullshit story that they believe is maybe true. Like “My DNA is fucked up.”
Listen, just choose to change the habit right now, and in the next moment choose again, and in the next moment choose again. It’s really that simple. Before you know it, it’s been hours, days, weeks, months, years, and you’ve created totally new habits, out of making small moment-by-moment choices. Why the fuck do people make it so fucking complex? Seriously!!
But hey, it’s become ? to be a slacker these days. Seems that a funny video can go viral and everyone will laugh (See here), share, re-post and on and on. So life for the slackers has become a big joke.
Anyone can spend their life creating videos…we say go for it if that’s what you want to do and can support yourself that way. It’s your life. No judgment here. But if you are the kind of a person who doesn’t know how to or doesn’t want to generate ? online, who has a sort of ok job, or has a ? manager, or you’re kinda working on your career but not moving very fast or struggling to raise a family but can’t seem to get a grip, you may just have a mild case of slackism.
Again, no judgment, that’s why we’re here, to help you get a reality check. The time has come to break free and get your life back on track.
We want to be perfectly clear that we are not talking about someone who has legitimate health or disability issues. We are talking about a perfectly healthy person who has more excuses to not get a grip than they have reasons to get their shit together and start to live the life they want.
There are a million and six different ways to get back on track by changing your habits and routine. We’re not going to list them all, and here’s a few ideas to get you started:
“I was looking for something a lot heavier, yet melodic at the same time. Something different from heavy metal, a different attitude.”
If you’re wondering what this quote has to do with anything… revisit the last bullet point about “awesomely different.”
Regardless, Kurt Cobain was just a cool motherfucker. ?
Also known as “Psychoass.” The word BITCH was originally used only in reference to a certain type of woman; nowadays, literally, “bitch” can be said to anyone at anytime in anyplace for any reason. Enter the…Psycho Ass Bitch Boss!
The Bitch Boss has the social skills of a worm. They have a terrible attitude, are addicted to complaining, never have anything nice to say and always have an awful comeback for everything. The Bitch Boss thinks they’re the most reasonable person in the world yet takes pride in pissing you off.
The Bitch Boss is stereotypically a “bully-in-a-skirt,” yet doesn’t necessarily have to be a woman. These people don’t give a flying fuck who they’re cruel to, who they’re annoying and they bitch about everything.
A Psycho Ass Bitch Boss is proud to be a bitch! They let their spur-of-the-moment negative emotional reactions play a large role when dealing with others. They are excessive whiners, can have a shrill voice and a complete lack of an internal filter. Unfortunately, the Bitch Boss knows just the right enunciation and high volume pitch to use to cause demeaning devastation to anyone in their path.
Bitch Bosses come across as abrasive and unreasonable, except of course to authority figures who have something they need. Most Bitch Bosses are narcissistic and hypocritical. Their favorite tactics include describing things as horrible moral wrongs which are objectionable and an inconvenience to them personally. They complain that someone else has been rude to them in terms that are vastly more rude than anything the other person has actually done.
Bitch Bosses are bosses who, when you were first hired, you thought they were going to be a role model for you because of their “strong” personality, but they quickly turned out to be the opposite. They were someone who used to be kind to you, but then decided that you weren’t good enough for them anymore. One of their favorite tactics is to attack you behind your back and try to ruin your reputation with others. More confrontational bitches will attack you openly, to your face.
Anyone who hasn’t a clue that they need to change, can’t. It takes being aware of change first. If your manager isn’t curious and doesn’t actively seek feedback for things they need to make adjustments with…well, you know what’s gonna happen. Nada! So stop wishing.
Give it up. An unaware manager doesn’t want to be changed. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change, including yourself. And, you already know that changing yourself is the most difficult thing in the world to do. Right? ?
Spend your time on the things you CAN change, starting with becoming self-aware of how YOU behave and interact with others at work, including how YOU interact with your manager.
Even though THEY may need change the most, give up trying to change them. That’s right, if you really want to change your situation fast, start by changing yourself first and then learn how to hack your manager. Always give yourself an honest look and keep an open mind to self-change the things you have control of. If you are open-minded you are going to see some serious ? happen…my promise! ?
And, go even one step further; do the Zen thing ? …have some compassion for your manager because they don’t know what they don’t know (which makes them innocent) – that they don’t really know how to manage people. They only think they know what they’re doing, or they are desperately trying to fake it while trying to make it.
Some managers may be transparent enough to admit they struggle with managing their people, however, with the title of “Manager” on their doors and business cards…most managers won’t. They fake it while trying to make it, and all the while their people get held back because of their lame attitude and ego that, from their point of view, is never wrong, or because of their misguided beliefs about what they should and should not be doing to be a good manager, which is usually based on their experience with a ? manager they had in the past.
(And we’re not talking about MALE ? and FEMALE ? here, we’re talking about…)
Have you ever noticed there are a ? ton of unaware people who THINK they possess self-awareness? Ahhhh, but don’t be fooled by their over-inflated, egotistical perception of themselves.
If you search for “self- awareness” this is what you’ll find:
Conscious knowledge ?? of one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires.
Characteristics: deep knowledge, informed, uses wise judgment, self-observant, conscious, knowledgeable, perceptive, watchful, mindful, sophisticated, sensible, alert, attentive, ability to feeling empathy
Having no knowledge ??? of a situation or fact.
Characteristics: ignorant, unknowing, unconscious, reckless, lack of care, unmindful, oblivious, lacking deep knowledge, not aware of the presence of danger, uninformed, unenlightened, not aware of facts, innocent
You may be like “I’m not answering that 2nd question,” ? ? ? but come on! Fair is fair! It’s a huge question to ask yourself and to be honest with yourself about. Otherwise, you may find yourself blaming some of the ? that goes down in your workplace on your manager when the truth may be that you are unknowingly (or intentionally) causing some of it. Time to get real, eh?
The bottom line is that truly self-aware managers work very hard to pay attention to everything and to self ? observe. Practicing self-observation has huge advantages and gives them (and you) the ability to constantly adjust the way they (you) interact with people.
A self-aware manager’s sole purpose is to create amazing relationships that move the organization’s purpose and the evolution of our planet forward.
The most important thing about a person who is truly self-aware is that they fully know they are in-charge and in control of every aspect of their life. They are diligent in the ways they practice discipline in every area of their life. So, if a self-aware person decides to stop an unhealthy or start a healthy habit, they not only know that they have the ability, they actually do it. Self-aware people are huge givers and would never intentionally hurt a fellow human.
An unaware manager’s primary purpose is to create benefit for themselves any way they can AND they even think it’s the right thing to do.
Unaware managers work very little, if at all, to pay attention to anything or to self-observe. They often times play victim to their circumstances, emotions and results. They have little or no desire to adjust the way they interact with their people, and deep down they don’t really give a ? about those relationships. Unaware people are takers and are reckless in the way they treat others.
Your awareness ? of these two facts and their unawareness of these two facts is your golden key ? to unlocking ? your success with ANY manager.
So, Is Your Boss Really Going To Help You?
Let’s talk about this… meet me over on Facebook
As the name implies, here is a micromanager who adds their unique style of jerkiness to management. Also known as the Black Hole Boss, the Micro ManaJerk actually thinks that keeping their people in the dark and feeding them bullshit keeps them hungry for more, however, it only keeps them confused and feeling deflated. The Micro ManaJerk also thinks that by spilling too much critical information the team will take over, so they hoard information (like a galactic black ? hole), vs. sharing necessary information so their people can do their jobs effectively. Their entire purpose is to be vague, effectively reversing gravity, where resources and information go in but not even one fucking particle comes out.
Some Micro ManaJerks act like snooty, numb nut heads who think their poodle ? pooh is odorless just because they have all their organic soup can labels lined up in their kitchen cabinets. These people are so in your face, stalking your junk, 24/7 because they’re freaked that their boss is going to spot a mistake THEY missed. They’re like a confused squirrel darting back and forth unsure of which way to run or so they don’t get the deer-in-the-headlights award for freezing in their tracks.
A Micro ManaJerk is a such a shitty management style because this unaware narcissist hasn’t a clue that they’re demotivating ? their people, making them weaker and painfully resentful. Team players are like, “Get outta my face, ass hat!” If a Micro ManaJerk would just give instructions and specific targets, and leave people alone, everything would be rainbows and butterflies. But noooooo…this boss type is neurotic, uptight, and anal, which leaves you feeling like they don’t trust you and like you’re a fucking, worthless chowderhead that can never do anything as well as them.
A Micro ManaJerk has the audacity to think they’re better organized, more accurate, and way more practical than anyone else in the department which they think gives them the green light to tell you the proper way to hold a tissue while you blow your nose. These are some strange muthafuckas! You can spot these freaks easily because they say things like “I’m gonna need you to skip your break and go….” or “When you get done with that I’ve got a long list of (my urgent) projects that need your attention…so let’s speed it up.” or “If you do it like this, it will go faster.” You will actually hear Team Members mumbling things like “Shove that micromanagement ? back up your ass!”
When you walk into a Micro ManaJerk’s office, every piece of ? furniture, every ? folder, and every ? paperclip is organized, however, it’s blatantly obvious that they’re more focused on keeping their office crap decluttered than they are on leading, developing and coaching their people.
Generally, a Micro ManaJerk’s underlying thinking is that you either do it the “right way” or “my way,” and if you don’t like it you can piss off with the other disorganized zit-heads in the office. If they catch you altering procedure from 1,2,3,4,5 to 1,2,4,5,3, regardless of whether your way gets the job done right or not…expect a 20-minute ? hammering ?for not following procedures and protocols, that lasts exactly 20 minutes.
Ordinarily, when the Micro ManaJerk feels under the gun, they stop talking to everyone (except their boss of course), go to their office, close their door and go into a mental ? coma to keep out all distractions. However, they’re actually just thinking up the next “be-all-end-all” report to demand from you that will fix this week’s shit-storm.
Since the Feng Shui-worshiping ManaJerk spends more time obsessing about every doom and gloom scenario (fear of losing ?, fear of deadlines, fear of their boss, fear of fear), they do feel an incessant need to control. That said, it may seem like they’re all about having control, actually they’re really just freaked out and scared most of the time because of all their self-fulfilling insecurities.
Want more to read the rest? Want to find out how to HACK this manajerk?
If you haven’t read the book yet… get it now
OMG…there is so much research out there about success, you could choke yourself with it. But isn’t success defined by the person? Isn’t your happiness determined by you? Isn’t your satisfaction decided by you too? Come on, right! Of course, it is, and if you’re judging yourself based on someone else’s results…pure and simple, you’re screwing yourself over.
With that, you can always tell if you’re successful if you take a few minutes and observe yourself and your work situation. Maybe you already know.
For the most part, Success is your personal, individual, emotional, intuitive, accomplishment of your personal ambition or purpose in life. At work, it’s things like:
So yeah, you have to keep it all together, if that is, you want to feel a certain level of experiential success. If you’re not feelin’ it, well guess what?
So, what about job satisfaction? Job satisfaction is that feeling of gratification you get that happens as a result of your positive interaction and contribution from doing your work. (Read that again) It’s not the money, the benefits or the vacations.
Again, you have to keep it together and in perspective, if you want to feel a certain level of experiential job satisfaction. If you’re not feelin’ it, guess what?
Let’s take a look at happiness. It’s interesting to watch and listen to people. Everyone is like “I just want to be happy!” WTF does that mean? If you’re not already happy and you want to get happy and stay happy as much as possible, you have to do enough “consistently” progressive stuff in your life so that you will feel a real “experience” of consistent happiness. It’s not that hard really. So…
Happiness is progress. When you’re making forward movement in your personal, professional, emotional, and spiritual life, you will feel happy. Period.
And, remember, the moment you complete a goal is not when you’ll feel consistently happy, that’s when you’ll feel proud of your accomplishment. Don’t get happy and proud confused. Way too many people start sliding backward right after they reach a goal and end up a few weeks later wondering what happened to the happiness they felt. Be proud and the hack is to keep moving on to the next challenge.
When you’re doing the things you know you need to do which move you closer to your goals and your dreams – then you will feel happy. When you’re not doing the things you know you shouldn’t do, you will also feel happy. So, in order to feel consistently happy, you must maintain your momentum of regular progress on your overall journey.
Work is only part of your journey and since the title of this blog post is about work…I’ll leave it at that.
So, what’s your story?